Rantitty rant rant.

Okay, before I start ranting my heart out, I wanted to say a special shoutout.

SOOOOO I've finally decided to sign in today & write that post that I promised because foreal I've just been on my blog to see who's updated on my blog list & yadayada. THEEEEN I was like, what the heeeezy, I have one follower?! WHO COULD THIS BE. & well well.

RENABETTE SAN ANTONIO.

I absolutely adore this girl. You are fantastic.
Love, your #1. Favorite. & MAID OF HONOR HAHAHA yayyyy.
Dedication, FSHO.

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Okay, now my rant :[

You don't have to read all this. This is just so I can recall the amount of pwnage I experienced. -___-

1.) Homelessness.
I guess lately I've been really out of it. (This was before the terrible, TERRIBLE addiction to blogtv.) For the few that know, I don't really feel at home... in my own home. It's pretty sad, but sometimes that's just how it is. WHS was the only place I could go to at a regular basis, & it was great there. You know? Everyone knew each other, you really didn't need to impress or anything. Just chill & have fun; if you stay after school, it's cool because there will always be people there. Now that I'm graduated, it's alot harder. College is so impersonal, especially a community college. Sure, I have a couple friends but it's not somewhere I'd wanna go. & stay. Who stays at a community college anyway?! Everyone just leaves after class. It's not very fun. Not to mention that it's so freaking hard to make friends because it seems like everyone already has friends. Loris wants more friends.

Thus, I feel homeless. Where to go, where to go. :[ I don't wanna be stuck on BlogTV.
By the way, I'm gonna get a webcam. Hopefully. Cross yo' fingers.


2.) Mega raincloud day.
Let me tell you about my day. Actually, it was not my day at all. First of all, I had to drive with both parents in the car which was mega weird -_- It was my dad's day off and they were gonna do errands after I get to class. Thaaat... wasn't the bad part of the day. Hah. Okay, so I wore shorts today (but lucky me, I grabbed a jacket before I left) and Soc was chill. The Phat Straw guy didn't talk to me though but he did sit next to me; creeper status. HAHA jk I won't judge. But yeah he's a strange quiet fellow. It's funny how one person can decide to sit in a different seat in the lecture hall & everyone will get thrown off & sit in other places. Soc was over & I decided to head over to Phat Straw instead of It's A Grind to study because I wasn't sure if I had a quiz or not (GG ME.)... but I wasn't even halfway there when it started drizzling. FANTASTIC. As if the day didn't look gloomy enough, right? I arrive at Phat Straw. Order a drink. The drink had a weird aftertaste at first but it was okay. Once, I sat down, I looked outside-- IT WASN'T DRIZZLING ANYMORE. What thee!! Sigh. Joel stopped by to check his schedule so that was cool (: We talked a bit. AAAND I got to talk to the very awesome RANDOLPH PERMEJO (: Hmmm then Joel left & talking to him made me miss the fob crew, so I convince myself that I prooobably didn't have a quiz today & stopped trying to study. This time I figured that it wouldn't drizzle anymore because it didn't drizzle over the time span that I was studying at Phat Straw, but I WAS WRONG. I stepped out, got to the crosswalk-- BAM. RAIN. It came down harder this time. Mega sadness. :[ Fiiiinally I get to the game center place at SAC to meet up with the fobs. Buuuut once I got there, they were leaving. GAAH. So instead I made my way to my very far classroom behind the baseball field & got there 10 minutes early. What do I find out? THERE'S A QUIZ. WOWWW are you kidding me. Oh, & my competition is ahead of me now. Sigh. :\ Suddenly, I get this HORRIBLE horrible feeling of uneasiness and nervousness. You don't understand. I was on the verge of either crying or throwing up. Disgusting. Apparently Jainah felt it too? :\ Luckily, MPT was okay. I asked everyone to see if they were alright. I felt terrible. The fob kiddos were okay too; I went over to chill for a bit. Decided not to drive home-- didn't wanna get into a car accident or anything, nahmean?! Especially with the creepy intuition. I will not take my chances. So the parentals came & I told them about the scary intuition & they were like "whaaaaat" .. then DUDE. FREAKING. We pass by It's A Grind, and THERE ARE FIRETRUCKS AND AN AMBULANCE THERE WOWW. Imagine if I went there instead of Phat Straw. Dang.

There was alot of prayer today. It worked, forsure. So. I guess it was okay in the end? If it hadn't rained, I probably would've gone to It's A Grind & who knows what would've happened there. The supposed bad luck throughout the day turned out to be good luck in the end. Actually. I don't wanna call it luck. God's provision.


....yeah.
Blog. Updated.
Mission. Accomplished.

Suuup.

Since I didn't get my coffee shop conversation, I suppose I can write about it here, what I've been trying to figure out for a while.

My homelessness.

Will explain later. This is just a reminder for myself.
Heroes tonight. GABEblogtv tonight. I love talking to Gabe Bondoc. + whs friends in Gabe's chatroom. We're too fun.

P.S.
I plan on starting another blog. A dream blog. I have so many vivid dreams, it's ridiculous. I share them with so many people anyway, might as well share with everyone. Anyone wanna co..write? co-blog? You know what I mean.

P.P.S.
Oh, and I wanna start up a devotions blog. Not full on devos, but.. sharing what I've gotten from my devotions & stuff. Just something to keep myself accountable, because I haven't been doing so well lately. Not gonna lie. I MOST DEFINITELY want people to do this with me. I think it'll be a good experience (: Plussss we can grow together in the Word. Any takers? (:

P.P.P.S.
The glass is half full.

Nostalgia.

I know I told myself that I would go to bed soon, but I really need to spill this out before I start dreaming about WHS people again.

Yeah, everyone was so excited for college; making new friends, taking fun classes, getting out there. I agree, it's pretty fun, but I can't help but miss my friends, I guess. I always said I wanted change, and I got it. Adjusting takes time. Finally week 4 of college and I've kind of gotten an idea of who my potential friends are in my classes. "Potential friends", haha that sounds kinda mean. They're more than acquaintances... but not really friend status? I hope you understand. It takes me a while to really develop friendships, though at times I find myself opening up to certain people pretty easily. That makes it a bit easier once in a while. I kind of wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life before I started figuring out my college plan. Dorming & such would make it alot easier to find freshmen who are going through the same experience as you, but I've found myself at a community college. I don't even think the "freshmen" term really exists in the sense that we would normally put it. A freshman class could mean age 17 to... who knows? Maybe even younger than 17, for those young geniuses. I guess that's why I'm finding it a bit difficult. Loneliness has been creeping up on me a bit more often than I'd like it to. I don't think I'm trying hard enough. I really just wish that people can come up & talk to me for once. I'm not that intimidating... right? -_-

You know the WHS people in my court? There were 12 of them, actually. Best friends. Yet as of September..21st, I believe, they'll all be miles away from me. All of them. Actually, except for one, but he's got a good handful of friends at his college. I don't know. It's kinda hard trying to hang out with the majority of them before they leave, but I guess I got at least a day with each of them. Gah, I need to suck it UPPP and just really try to live it up. I don't knowwwwwww.

I need to stop starting every freaking sentence with "I". A bit selfish, nahmean? This blog needs a bit more "us" & "we". It'll probably take a few more weeks. At least I get to start over again next semester? I don't know. Gah, there I go again. I.

P.S. Actually, someone started the conversation this time in my Psych class. That made me happy.

P.P.S. The loneliness is nice, sometimes. Good reflection times, good blogs. Plus, I save money. Very, very good.

And I quote,

I missed the LA showing. Boooo. Not too sure if you can watch it anywhere else. This film's pretty much traveling the country. Maybe the world. Pretty cool, pretty cool. And I quote, "Beautiful Losers is documentary film exploring the creative mindset driving youth culture and popular art today." The artists seem really cool, not to mention their art. I'm really feeling art museum-y & botanical garden-y & whatever have you. Road trip, anyone?



"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." -Helen Keller.

"Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. For, indeed, that’s all who ever have." -Margaret Mead.


"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves." -Salma Hayek.

"Unless we think of others and do something for them, we miss one of the greatest sources of happiness" -Ray Lyman Wilbur

There's a short film that I really liked. Watch it here:
http://www.eatpes.com/western_spaghetti.html

Eff why eye; the images are from Mike Mills' "Mu Museum Exhibition" in 2004. He's featured in "Beautiful Losers", hah. Enjoy the weekend!

Happy birthday, Mom.

Bring me flowers. Talk for hours.

So. Recently, I guess I've been learning alot about God's authority..& I think that's what He's trying to make known to me now. C&C Bible study, devos, school. It's pretty crazy, actually. I feel pretty small in comparison but in His eyes I'm pretty dang important. Freaking cool.

Jesus calms the storm. Mark 4:...35? Not too sure right now, I should look it up. Anyways, His power just amazes me so much- that He can take total control of... pretty much everything, hah. Frick, He's in control of my life & it is one big mess I wouldn't wanna fix. (You wouldn't either, if you knew.) & yet I often find myself questioning Him. His timing. His reasons. But what it all really comes down to is.. how dare we? He really has proven Himself almighty throughout our entire lives and yet we have our spurts of doubt. Makes you feel pretty bad, huh :[ But fortunately, out of His grace & mercy, we're loved and forgiven, though we sin every frickin' day of our lives. It's so humbling, nahmeeean!?

I'm taking a Physical Geography class.. kinda boring at first, but then we finally started learning (woohoo)! Our professor talked about the bajillion galaxies outside of our own, and how small we are in comparison. I guess it hit me right there how AMAZING God really is. What a Creator! Everything is so complex and works out so well. This universe is so vast; my professor straight up told us that we, as individuals, aren't as special and significant as our mothers would like us to be. I guess it's true, to mankind. But dang, to God I'm loved. His child. It's nice knowing that you'll be okay. Jeremiah 29:11 (: I pray that you'll find this true for yourselves as well. (:

I kinda made friends today! Only kinda because we haven't reeeaally talked, but enough to spark a few laughs and interests and such. Pretty tiiight. And I've been trying to find more soulful songs. I love singing those kinds of songs. I miss performing.

The conversation

went like this:

"morning babe"
"morrrring (:"
"wsuuuup"
"lols nothing ? darkness."
"this time of day
disguised as night."
"i know right? its sneaky."

Mind you, this was a conversation between me & my cousin at around 2 AM. You know, I never thought of it as a "disguise." The wee hours of a new day are barely recognized, but I like it. Yes, being nocturnal requires you to be active in the night, yet the AM hours are considered morning. Why do we so often classify it as night?

Do we disguise ourselves to fit in or be liked? You can hide forever, but you'll never know how many people know the truth.

Hello friends,

How are you today? Is society behaving itself for once? Has this world finally become so overwhelmed with guilt that a change is finally erupting?

I like to go in circles when I think. Circles aren't that bad-- it's nice that they're different. Different things make this world much more interesting. Now, if this world were full of clones of myself, perhaps the world would soon die off from migraines and complexities. Wouldn't that suck? I'm glad everyone else is different.


My recent life.
Meg & Dia concert! One of the most amazing nights of my life. I was about 3 feet away from the stage, literally. Meg smiled at me while she was up there; I swear I bounced around in excitement right after. They both look so much prettier in person, though I thought they were pretty enough. They're cuter in person, too. Such fantastic humor. Hugs all around! And pictures. And autographs. Uhm... yeah, I can't really put this night into words, as much as I would like to. I'm excited for their new album. My "Who I'd Like to Meet" section is now blank. Well, meaning the list of people I'd like to meet here on Earth. Yeah, it's done.

"Girls on their periods take vitamin B-12 and it makes your stomach hurt not so bad. Boys..not on your periods...... we hate you..but than again, you have to put up with girls on their periods. Hahah.. suckers!"
--Dia Frampton.

She has plenty of other good quotes, but for now, this will do. I can most definitely correct spelling/grammar right now; I'd rather not. She gave me a hug, it's the least I can do for her.

Vitamin B-12, eh?