Eh.

This "TIME" activity might be a lot harder than I thought. How consuming.

Anyways, yes, I'm testing out my "time" experiment today. We'll see how this goes. I already feel like giving up.

Indecisive.

There are two different activities that I want to try out for a day. I might do both; we'll see.

#1] Time.
#2] Detail.

Comment.

This is new.

The song "Under The Weather" by KT Tunstall starts to play on my WINAMP as I study (I procrastinate so much!), and all of the sudden, my mind strays from my studies & moves onto my music. Sounds normal, right? But no, this time was different. I was moved to pick out all the different components of the song. The bass, the percussions, the strings, the vocals, the keyboard. It's a strange but .. I don't want to say "humbling", but definitely overwhelming (in a way) experience. I'm really learning to appreciate all the different components of music. Good feeling. Puts you in awe. Kind of. I don't know what I'm saying; you need to experience this yourself to understand it, I suppose.

I'm thinking this works with people. You can't just judge a person right away with one characteristic, such as their appearance. You really need to get to know a person and figure out the small characteristics that really create the person as an individual. That's when you start to really appreciate a person.

The future freaks me out.

Actually, I don't really remember what that song sounded like. I should listen to it again. "The Future Freaks Me Out" by Motion City Soundtrack.

There was something that my Psychology professor said yesterday that really stuck out to me. She specialized in Child Psychology, but did all sorts of stuff. Parenting, Pastoral Care, eyewitness testimonies for all sorts of events. She's so cool, I love her! Anyways, we were talking about movies & happy endings-- and how she loved them. People defended it & said happy endings made the movies seem less realistic. That's true, for some movies. But then my professor supported her statement by saying that she loves happy endings because she listened to so many gloomy stories from so many hurt people.

"You're giving a part of yourself to those people... you need to refresh yourselves somehow before you have nothing left to give. A happy ending, a fluffy cloud in the sky... I need it."

She gives up so many parts to her. Parts that include hope, love, peace. I'm still so stoked on Adolescent Psychology. I hope I succeed. I just wonder if I'll be ready to give just as much of myself when I get there.

It still hurts.

12:45 A.M.
I feel terrible.
Reality bites.

New Year's, 2007.


Mark Anthony Lapidario.
Jan19,1991-Oct1,2007.

Love you, cousin.