'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows."

--Luke 12:6-7 (ESV).

Check yo' self,

before you wreck yo' self, Loris.

Don't manipulate, don't grow impatient.

You know, firsthand, what happens when you rely on yourself.

Surrender.

I'm.. kind of overwhelmed.

(The good kind.)

Man, I wanna cry--but I can't, since I'm apparently heartless-- 'cause the last 24 hours have been both hectic & ..refreshing? Not sure if that's the word I'm looking for, but it'll work. God is... enough. Man, why can't I get that through my thick skull?! Same exact resounding message & I'm still exactly the same? It's about time that lightbulb sparked. I've even received the same reminder from people who don't have a clue about what's been filling up my schedule, or even my head. People younger than me, older than me, miles & hours away from me... dude, I'm so blessed.

I am running on 2 hours of sleep (that's shorter than my naps), but somehow I feel pretty rested & ready to handle this work-- a huge contrast from my last post! God has been so gracious.

"Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you." --Psalm 63:3 (ESV).

& with that,

praise the Lord.

I wonder.

Am I still awake because of the coffee or is it because I'm hesitant to face the workload that's anxious to greet me in the morning (or rather, in a few hours)? I'm pretty sure the afternoon nap has nothing to do with this. Hellooooooo again, 4am.

On. The. Dot.

P.S. I don't know why I keep sipping on this coffee. It's not even good.

P.P.S. I'm slightly bitter about the fireflies. Kind of wish they weren't around so I could FOCUS. (But they're nice.. I guess. Like Ray-- Ray's a pretty cool firefly & so is Evangeline. Mm, yeah.)

What a week.

I love & hate the shining moments of my priority list. Love, because it lets me see what I need to improve.. but hate, because it leaves me pretty ashamed & down in the dumps. I know I'm not perfect & the road to holiness is totally not a walk in the park so there's more love than hate, although it would still require both of them to really get someone moving. Not only do I need to work on discipline, but definitely compassion. I've found myself apologizing more than usual these days. Lord, have mercy.

I've also been all over the mood scale lately. Happy, worried, excited, scared, really happy, really devastated, nervous, relieved, bitter, uncertain-- but I suppose it's good that I wasn't.. angry? Is that what's missing? Meh, the good news: I'm not completely heartless. Huzzah.

Clearly, it's been somewhat sporadic (it shows in my writing, huh); a lot has happened but those moments feel far from my reach. I've just been reading the Word whenever I get the chance & honestly, those moments are what I remember best. "If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction" (Ps. 119:93). I'm super grateful for the Scriptures. Now... action. Word in, Word out.

Anyhoos, I am very, very, very blessed to have my brothers & sisters in Christ, plusss God-fearing parents with whom I am happy to run this race. They are absolutely incredible.

Tell me why it's taken me an hour to vaguely type up what's been on my mind. Pro stats.

Hello 3:34am.

Biblical fashion statements.

"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
--1 Peter 3:3-4.

"...women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-- with good works." --1 Timothy 2:9-10.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." --Proverbs 31:30.

Get on this, ladies. These traits will always be in style.