This is who I am.

I've been born again.

The cross is my defense,

My hope, secure.

Now my life is in Your hand,

On Your every word I stand.
Lord, I'm finding who I am in all You are.

...

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin;

On our behalf, was crucified.

Oh, that we could be the righteousness of our Creator.

I am a new creation.
The old has passed away,

& I am made new.

[Shane & Shane - This is Who I Am.]

In the beginning was the Word...

I’ve been reading this book, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney, & it’s been worth the read so far. Personally, I struggle with being diligent with my Bible reading. I admit that I’m distracted by so many things & that I need to step it up. Gotta discipline myself for the purpose of godliness.

The first topic was actually on Bible intake— makes sense because it really is the starting point. John 1:1, “In the beginning was the Word, & the Word was with God, & the Word was God.” Know God above all things. At the end of part 1, Whitney quoted another author, whose words served to be a blessing to me & an encouragement for my walk with Christ.

I hope it’ll be a blessing to you, fellow brothers & sisters:

Do not expect to master the Bible in a day, or a month, or a year. Rather expect often to be puzzled by its contents. It is not all equally clear. Great men of God often feel like absolute novices when they read the Word. The apostle Peter said that there were some things hard to understand in the epistles of Paul (2 Peter 3:16). I am glad he wrote those words because I have felt that often. So do not expect always to get an emotional charge or a feeling of quiet peace when you read the Bible. By the grace of God you may expect that to be a frequent experience, but often you will get no emotional response at all. Let the Word break over your heart and mind again and again as the years go by, and imperceptibly there will come great changes in your attitude and outlook and conduct. You will probably be the last to recognize these. Often you will feel very, very small, because increasingly the God of the Bible will become to you wonderfully great. So go on reading it until you can read no longer, and then you will not need the Bible any more, because when your eyes close the last time in death, and never again read the Word of God in Scripture you will open them to the Word of God in the flesh, that same Jesus of the Bible whom you have known for so long, standing before you to take you for ever to His eternal home.

— Geoffrey Thomas, Reading the Bible

Beloved, continue to desire Christ & to know Him so much more deeply, not to please others nor to earn some standing in heaven, but out of your utmost love for your Savior. We cannot do anything apart from Him. We do not deserve anything given to us, which includes salvation. We cannot EARN salvation for ourselves. God, by His perfect grace, has saved us from His wrath. With that knowledge, my life is indebted to Him. He is worth all of my efforts, my time, my sacrifice, my praise.

Word out.

Youth Camp 2010 was… wow. I don’t even have the words. All I want to do is just PRAISE GOD for what He is doing, what He has done, and what He is going to do in the future. The past two years have struck me in such a way that it is evident for myself that I am not the same person, but God is. He is so consistent with us, so loving, so gracious & just. & while He continues to be faithful, I continue to fail & disappoint Him. Conviction. Praise God for the blood of Christ, for that agape kind of love.

Yes, youth camp itself could have been sufficient for me to be reminded of God’s power & control over this world, but just taking a step back— man, it’s overwhelming. In a good way. It was at this camp where I was able to see God’s plan in full motion for a people whom I truly love. I, along with some others, have gone through struggles with so much uncertainty that it broke us, yet God was always there. He, in His sovereignty, was already working in us through others to lead us to this past weekend. I think once our eyes were opened to fully examine our growth & the grace upon grace that we have been given, our response became this passion to do work for the Kingdom.

Man, I love the campers. All of them, counselors included. It’s been such an encouragement seeing one another there. Just their presence brings me joy because we were all meant to be at this camp. I’ve been praying for these guys many times recently.. My heartstrings have definitely been pulled, & sometimes in different directions. I just know that I truly love these people & I’m so grateful that God placed me to be among them— or even more so, placed them to be in my life. There is so much work to be done for the Kingdom… Until we are called home, it’s an ongoing preparation for war. Though I pray for my own preparation, my heart strongly desires for these brothers/sisters in Christ, & even those who have been exposed for the first time, to depend on God as they are being equipped. I pray that they realize they are not abandoned at all, that there are people including myself who are struggling with them, praying for/with them, & doing their best to edify them according to the Scriptures. God never abandoned us; He never will. There are so many things hindering us from that reminder & causing us to stumble, but hey, there’s joy & comfort in knowing that when we come back & just obey Him, Christ will be more evident to not only us but to others. I just pray that we will all be diligent in being DOERS of the Word rather than just hearers.

AH, so much to say about this camp! Favorite, for sure.

Long story short (even though this was my version of a “short” reflection): I love God, I love this youth group & the leaders, & I am SO excited to see what God has planned. SO. EXCITED. God is good. Amen? :)

Chit chat.

From Tumblr, to my journal, to just plain ol' conversations, it's evident that one outlet doesn't seem to cut it for me. Too often, I am anxious to extract my thoughts from the conscious to actual text, but I am discouraged. I tend to stray from the original intent of my entry & lean more toward my need for organized thought. I just enjoy reading good writing, okay? & thus, I strive to write with the viewpoint of myself, as a reader. I would get frustrated because I wouldn't be able to come up with a better synonym or better metaphor. I would change sentences to create more of a flow. I would proofread countless times & replace a few words to match my persona.

It's too much.

I'll admit that I'm usually pleased with the finished products. I enjoy looking back at my posts & getting in depth with what I experienced; however, I'd wish that I'd take it easy on myself sometimes. Don't worry about the blog readers, or even your future self-- write what you need to write. Write what's on your mind & heart, right now. Unchanged. The results are still genuine, but presented in a different format. Even this post required a bit more thinking on my part.

I'm so grateful for my prayer time with God. Nothing to judge, just words to hear. Though I may stumble on my words, my point is always understood. If I bring up a topic too frequent for others, He will always listen & answer according to His perfect will. He is my comfort. I'm so glad that God sent Christ, essentially Himself incarnate, to be the sacrifice & our Mediator. The curtain was torn & we no longer need an earthly priest to reach God; God Himself came to be our Priest, & a High Priest at that. Perhaps a greater comfort would be the fact that He will reign as King for all eternity & I will finally be in the presence of my Redeemer.

I doubt that my "writer's OCD" will escape me anytime soon. Or ever, actually. I'm content with each form of outlet that I use, but even more so: prayer. Praise God for His grace & unconditional love.

I am a sinner..

..saved by grace. & MAN, does it feel good to have a risen Savior.

Apologizes for the lack of blog posts. I really have just stopped blogspotting & continued to "tumbl" which really isn't blogging at all. Sometimes it's blogging, other times, it's posting a pretty picture. Or a song. Or a video. (I'm more active there [or here], & by active, I mean DAILY activity.) Anyhoos.

It's late (or early, actually) & as exhausted as my body may be, it still gives me chills to know that I worship a sovereign God. What a blessing to be able to fellowship with brothers & sisters throughout this whole week (from across the country or even OUT of the country!), sharing verses & edifying one another to keep the faith & remember God's goodness!

..I stared at what I've typed for a good 5 minutes before realizing that I've said what I wanted to say. It's been a good week, that's all. Good enough to come back to my 1.5 year-old Blogspot & actually write something. I've also added a couple more blogs to my Google Reader list... & CPC "followers," I'm pointing to you! I read WAY too many blogs... Just check out my Blogroll & double that. Maybe triple. It's an addiction, I tell you.

3:15am & I'm off to bed. I actually end my days of blog-reading with an actual book... so don't worry, I read real books. Note to self: buy a reading light. Goooooood night.