The nice guy.

Courtesy of Renabette San Antonio, my soulmate. (:

Not just a saying.

How often do we hear the phrase “nice guys finish last”? We like to think that this usually is not the case and that somehow it’s just a figment of a guy’s imagination. I have friends who refer to themselves as a nice guy and, honestly, I’m not so sure they process their behavior or actions correctly. However, I’m sure most females do really know a genuinely nice guy. He’s probably that friend that you can talk about anything with. He’s that guy that you talk to about your guy problems. He’s the one who willingly lends his shoulder for you to cry on when he really doesn’t have the obligation to. Many females will say it’s not true — that they do notice the nice guy. I seriously believe that’s not the majority.

Be honest with yourself, have you ever turned down a really nice guy because you could only see him as a friend? You know he treats you the way you’d want to be treated, and yet, you can’t picture yourself involved with this person romantically. However, the person you do find yourself attracted to is what many refer to as the “jerk”. I don’t think that’s the accurate term…I’d like to call this guy “troubled”. I’ve seen this in my past and in many relationships of friends and family. I think many females are attracted to someone that is troubled. You want to be the person who’s different in their eyes. You want to be the person that can change them, or at least the person they can be different around — themselves. We like to think they can finally be themselves around us because we’re the exception. It clearly won’t always turn out that way, but we like to dream and believe that it’s possible. This is not supposed to be a generalization of all women, but it is something I’ve noticed.

Have any of you ever been in this situation yourself?

The portion of the post that caught my eye was the part that read, "You know he treats you the way you’d want to be treated, and yet, you can’t picture yourself involved with this person romantically." I couldn't agree more.

Is it bad that I think about any hint of potential in every guy who's even close to having similar interests to my own? Sure, I could've dated this guy or that guy. Or even better, "Loris, you look really great with this guy." Sometimes, I'd agree. & sometimes, I'd think that that guy would be agreeing with me.

(Note: "This/That guy" is solely an example. It's not who you think, if you're thinking of who I'm thinking! But then again, you might be thinking correctly but I wouldn't think so for the sole purpose of having people think about this.)

Other times, however, that guy would show no hint of it. & most of the time, I wouldn't either. In fact, I am extremely picky when it comes to boys. Extremely. Which means, once I find a guy who "has potential," I'm cautious. I stand guard, protect my heart. Create that assuring balance of heart and mind, & wait. Get to know that person, see what he's like. Then, feel. Anything? Most of the time-- no.

So then I ask, how is it that I can find someone so close to the person I would like to be with, & yet, not want to be with them? Not gonna lie, this has happened more than enough times. It gets a bit old, but it's perplexing nonetheless. Perhaps I'll run into a male version of Zooey Deschanel, as her roles in Yes Man or 500 Days of Summer. Perhaps I'll end up with someone who will completely throw me off, & maybe not in the way that I'd like him to. Because, if the person I'm expecting (though rare) isn't satisfactory, then who should I expect? Should I expect at all? Is that to say that I shouldn't have standards nor should I hold up the ones I currently hold?

Something I've been thinking about for a while now. Felt like elaborating.