What a week.

I love & hate the shining moments of my priority list. Love, because it lets me see what I need to improve.. but hate, because it leaves me pretty ashamed & down in the dumps. I know I'm not perfect & the road to holiness is totally not a walk in the park so there's more love than hate, although it would still require both of them to really get someone moving. Not only do I need to work on discipline, but definitely compassion. I've found myself apologizing more than usual these days. Lord, have mercy.

I've also been all over the mood scale lately. Happy, worried, excited, scared, really happy, really devastated, nervous, relieved, bitter, uncertain-- but I suppose it's good that I wasn't.. angry? Is that what's missing? Meh, the good news: I'm not completely heartless. Huzzah.

Clearly, it's been somewhat sporadic (it shows in my writing, huh); a lot has happened but those moments feel far from my reach. I've just been reading the Word whenever I get the chance & honestly, those moments are what I remember best. "If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction" (Ps. 119:93). I'm super grateful for the Scriptures. Now... action. Word in, Word out.

Anyhoos, I am very, very, very blessed to have my brothers & sisters in Christ, plusss God-fearing parents with whom I am happy to run this race. They are absolutely incredible.

Tell me why it's taken me an hour to vaguely type up what's been on my mind. Pro stats.

Hello 3:34am.

Biblical fashion statements.

"Do not let your adorning be external-- the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
--1 Peter 3:3-4.

"...women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-- with good works." --1 Timothy 2:9-10.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." --Proverbs 31:30.

Get on this, ladies. These traits will always be in style.

Steppin' back & slowin' down.

I am all too familiar with this time of day-- an undoubtedly unhealthy sign. Sadly, a blank page is more intimidating than inviting, as it once was in my eyes. Last night was spent reading through past entries, wondering where in the world my vocabulary fled to & why writer's block decided to make a permanent stop at my residence. The subject matters were rubbish, though. Sure, I could make any paragraph as flowery as can be, but digging deep down to the core, it was me being a typical teenager mesmerized by the world, wanting nothing yet everything to do with it. Confusing... talaga! (Kind of like how I sound right now. MHMM.)

On the brighter side-- & I suppose much brighter-- at least I can tell that my priorities have changed. My writing took a beating once Facebook & Twitter decided to unite with text messaging & restrict me to a limited number of characters. Okay, actually that's my fault for not disciplining myself... Anyhoos, back to my point: Since then, I've gained a better grasp of Scripture & ultimately, of our Lord. That's a plus in my book. Praise God for that understanding.

I think I'll also note that by "then," I don't mean since Facebook/Twitter/texting ganged up on me. There was less of that time & more time for fellowship, discipleship, personal spiritual disciplines, etc. It is ridiculously refreshing to read the Word or hang with brothers & sisters. Surely enough, I realized that we get more hyped about this than we do about... oh, I don't know... school. After a talk with the sisters, I basically laid it down & told myself: "Hey. You've been blessed with the opportunity to go to school, so use that to glorify God. & if the stress begins to corner you, remember that how you handle that stress is also your witness of God's goodness to others. Find peace in the Savior. Get your brothers & sisters to keep you on track." This has pretty much been my pep talk as of late.

Speaking of "late," it's nearly 2:30am & unfortunately not a surprise. Ha, check out the lack of uniformity in my writing style though! Eh bien, ce n'est pas grave. Happy Monday, folks.

OH, real quick:

"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere.
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of wickedness." --Psalm 84:10 (ESV).
Foreal.

Trying to keep up with my thoughts.

Let's pretend it's not Valentine's Day so my post doesn't seem entirely out of place.

"Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death
is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, 'I am only joking!'"
--Proverbs 26:18-19 (ESV).

My goodness, Lord, You have such a way with words. The Word really is sharper than any two-edged sword and it really does pierce "to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow," and discerns "the thoughts and intentions of the heart" (Heb. 4:12). Living & active, people.

Sin sin sin... you are so frustrating!
Just get out of here already!

:(

Well, okay it kinda does have something to do with Valentine's Day, I suppose. Oh, love. Not like... lovey-dovey love, but you know... love! All day, everyday love. 1 John 3:16-18 love. More of THAT love means more Jesus, so that means less sin because God is completely holy & won't tolerate it... But wow why do I suck at this?

Yikes, this post is all over the place.

Now I shall rhyme & say

I'm thankful for grace.

"Who needs a valentine when you have Christ? (:"

What a sweet morning reminder from the sweetest small group!
(Okay, I'll admit that I'm biased.)

Sheesh, I think 4 different people have asked me about whether or not I have a valentine this year. Kind of ridiculous. You all need to calm down! Ahaha. (Although, I have noticed that the older I become, the more frequent the topic arises... Jokingly or not.) Anyhoos, so without even mentioning that, the valentine's topic came up during our talk & man, I am incredibly thankful for these girls. They totally know w'sup. :) "Leader" or not, we're all sisters & we all gotta edify one another to pursue holiness & glorify the Father, not ourselves! Love it.

Sorry fellas, our hearts are with Jesus. (;
Gotta seek Him to get to 'em.