I may not be one to talk about this, but I’m excited for a real relationship. Emphasis on real. I’m tired of the whole, “boys will be boys” excuse; it ain’t cute anymore. Boys tire the crap outta me. Not being arrogant, but I’ve constantly surrounded myself with guys. I used to pride myself in that fact. Used to. TRUST— I was so dang tired of girls. Girls caused so much drama for me. Too much, but now I’m considering a Girls Night Out. I gotta give the guys props though. I enjoy having them open the door for me (when they do, of course. Sometimes, I’ll have to hold it open & wonder if the thought slipped their mind), I enjoy their huge warm hugs, I enjoy the awkward moments because they never really are. Except, you know when things just don’t work out? Oh, I know you know. Always makes me wonder— who’s trippin’? Usually I’ll say that both sides are at fault, but I can’t assume that for him. It’s mine. I was never ready for anything, & I’m still not ready for it (although many times, I really wish I were). My mind’s gotta be focused on my Best Friend & it’s not. My life’s gotta be a walking light, not only to myself, but to others, & it’s not.
In my last Tumblr post, I shared that my aunt met my uncle at 19. They’re happily married & their son is graduating from high school. That’s crazy! I’m 19 now. What an eyeopener. Things are so much different now.
Dang, I’m excited about a real relationship. Real love, that’s what I’m talking about. I’m talking about, honestly feeling that you’ll be with this person for the rest of your life. I’m talking about, being willing to make whatever sacrifices necessary for that person. I’m talking about, bringing that person closer to your Savior as opposed to being closer to you. I’m talking about, a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
That’s what I want; that’s what everyone should want. I admit, I get lonely sometimes. A lot of the time. I got standards for my man (hollaaaa) & they’re high, foreal. Well, not thaaat high, but high nonetheless. I’m not looking to play around. Ladies, they gotta be high. You don’t deserve any less. When I meet that guy, oh goooodness. He might even be in my life right now, who knows?! But hey, he’ll be around when I’m ready. It’s all in the timing. & I’m excited for that, I suppose.
But dang, I get lonely sometimes.
I can’t believe I’ve written this & decided to post this, but here I am exposing myself, folks. KBYE.
i was supposed to leave blogspot forever, but here i am, leaving you a comment. don't you feel special!
ReplyDeletethis was a wonderful post, loris :D i know what you mean; guys generally lack the drama that comes with girls, but they can be just as unpredictable and unreadable as girls at times.
i'm glad you're putting these thoughts down on paper (okay, not paper, but...yeah. HAHA), and i'm glad you're setting high standards. you clearly deserve the best, since you're looking for a meaningful relationship. and who wouldn't? i'd definitely choose one meaningful relationship over 10 flings, any day of the year.
i understand the lonely part. i feel that too. being able to put yourself into someone's arms (or vice versa) and simply BE with someone is such a fantastic feeling. be patient; when you get that guy, you'll totally know what i mean. :D
Girl, I totally feel you. I think, for the longest time, I focused on just being in a relationship. I kept trying to look for relationships instead of waiting for it to find me. nah mean?! I'm really glad that you're setting your standards high. Keep it that way. I didn't set my standards high, settled for whoever wanted me, and look where it got me. But hey, it was an experience. I'm still learning, still growing. But I'm ready for something real. Now it's all up to time and our Savior. Let's see what He has in store for us. :]
ReplyDeletei actually saw this one tumblr, but i get to comment on blogspot now (:
ReplyDeletethe reason why i quoted the last part of the post is that i really forgot the fact that i have the option of waiting. it's reeeally hard, but the whole "everything's better in the end" sorta thing, since people tend to force the whole "you can get someone now" sort of deal.
i really glad you posted it, because it made me remember that God has a better plan for everything even guys
(: